Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Chapter 2

"Jess? Jessie!! Jessica wake up!!"
I groaned when I felt a shove. I was still tired. It's a Saturday,  can't they let me sleep in?
"Come on Jess, wake up. It's almost noon!" Tony practically shouted.
"Easy Tone, she had a rough night." I heard Jayden say. I still hadn't open my eyes, but I was now propped up on my elbows trying to sum up the energy to fully sit up. Noon? Since when do I sleep until noon?
"What do you mean, she had a rough night?" Tony asked confused.
Jayden started to answer, but was interrupted by Cryssie calling from downstairs.
"Is she up yet?! Don't let her miss lunch too!" Tony shouted back down to her that I was up now, which made me realize I had a bad headache. I sighed sitting up completely, my legs now hanging over the side of the bed. I rubbed my eyes, and felt someone sit next to me, then pull me into a hug.
"Jessica......are you alright?" Jayden's voice was soft,  almost sympathetic. I looked at her, she was staring at me with her huge blue eyes. She had no make up on, I noticed.
"I'm fine, why?" I looked at her cautiously.  She knew something, though I wasn't sure what. She looked down, patted my leg, then got up and moved to the door. She looked at me again with pain and sadness written on her face.
"You talk in your sleep, Jess." She said softly, then pushed past Anthony,  and went downstairs. I stared at the spot she was just in, completely shocked. Anthony looked at her, then back at me. I felt my stomach drop and a lump rise in my throat.
"Jess," Anthony asked carefully.  "What is she talking about?"
I wanted to tell him, I really did. But smarter than me or not, he's only 13. There's no way I could say it.
But apparently my mouth didn't get the message.
"I'm pregnant, " I whispered.
He creased his forehead,  confused. He moved closer to me.
"Come again?"
I started to cry. He got worried then sat down next to me the same way Jayden did.
"I'm pregnant, " I bawled. Obviously, he didn't know how to react to this, since he just sat there silent, and held me until my bawling became a light sniffle. "I don't know what to do. " I said.
When he spoke, he almost sounded like a 19 yr old man, instead of a 13 year old boy. "When did this happen? "
I couldn't look at him. Instead, I looked down at my feet. "A couple weeks ago, behind the school." I heard him sigh.
"Are you gonna tell mom?" He asked. I nodded.  I have to now, my siblings already know. He patted my shoulder, and stood up, holding out his hand to mine. I take it and stand up. Tony pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry sis. I really am."
I didn't say anything. I just nodded.
"Tony?" I asked.
"Yeah Jess?"
"I'm hungry,  can we go downstairs now?" He laughed a little, and headed to the door. 
"Yeah sis, let's go." He smiled.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Chapter 1

I'm leaving school. It's hot outside, summer being just a few weeks away. I had left my backpack in school since I didn't have any work to do. It makes running easier. I meet up with Saya and Rebecca outside. We're making plans to see a movie later. I smile and wave  goodbye to them. I start my jogging around the school to the track. I look to my left when I get to the back.
There's a man there. He's dressed in ripped black clothes, and wearing a long coat. His hair is dark, greased. But the first thing I notice is he's staring at me.
Creeper... I think, then go back to running the track. I run for an hour and a half, taking a break every 20 minutes to get a new bottle of water from the track cooler next to the bleachers. He stayed there, in the same spot by the school watching me. I could run for much longer, but he was creeping me out, and I felt a sunburn forming. I started to jog back to the front of the building.
The man started to follow. I got scared, I tried to run faster. He started to catch up. I tried to run as fast as I could. I felt a sharp pain in my leg, which I ended up twisting. I fell to the ground, more pain from the rocks which are stabbing at my skin.
It wasnt long before he was on top of me, hand over my mouth to muffle my scream.
~~~~~~~
I woke up with a start.
I was breathing hard, my face was wet. My heart was practically breaking through my ribs. I felt sick. I quickly ran out of my room into the bathroom across the hall, getting to the toilet just in time to heave every meal I've had in the past 24 hours.
And then I cried. Every night for the past 2 weeks, I've had the same dream. I barely want to sleep  anymore. I sit by the toilet feeling queasy and sick,  until I stopped crying. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, placing my hand on my abdomen. I felt my lip quiver. This man, that I do not know, singlehandedly ruined my life just for some short term sick thrill. I hated myself for wishing he'd gotten someone else instead.
I had plans; I had dreams. I was going to go to art school to help mom with her pottery buisness. I was going to train every day to run in the Boston Marathon, or the Olympics. I don't even want to win, I just want to know if I'd ever be good enough to compete.
But now I can't. This...thing...growing in me...just below the surface, ruined everything. It'll take me years to run off the baby weight. Maybe even longer! I shuddered at the thought of a...baby. I'm way too young to even be considering to have a child. But it's not my fault. It's not my choice. I started to cry again. The cry you have when you mourn what you've lost. When you wish you could go back in time to stop it from happening.
When I was done crying, I waited for a little while longer before getting up and trudging back to my room. Jayden was sitting up, her multicolor hair a mess. She was wearing her custom Sleeping With Sirens pj pants,  and a Bring Me The Horizon T-shirt. Her legs were criss crossed and so were her arms. She stared at me - well, more like glared.
"You ok?" She asked, skeptically. I looked at her as I went back to bed.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm fine. "
She put her arms down, and got up from her bed. She walked across the room and sat down right next to me.
"Because you've been acting weird for the past couple weeks. And I mean like, worse than me kinda weird." I swallowed.  "What's wrong? What happened?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. I just had a really gross dream."
She raised an eye brow and gave me her signature "I'm not an idiot so spill it" look.
"What was it about then?" She asked, moving one leg so it was completely on my bed, the other hanging off, as she flipped her hair to the left and crossed her arms again. A challenge. Out of everyone in our house, including Cryssie, Jayden is the most confrontational.
"I don't wanna talk about it." I said, not looking at her. Sometimes Jayden doesn't realize how intimidating she can be. Instead, I looked down at my nails. They were painted blue and had little sparkles on them that shine brighter than the sun, when in the light. I noticed my hands were shaking.
"Whatever," she scoffed. You could practically hear her rolling her eyes. "I'm not buying it." Jayden got up and crossed the room to the light switch by the door, and turned off the light. My eyes adjusted quickly to the dark, and I watched Jayden's silhouette cross the room back to her bed. She got under the covers and rolled over to face the wall. "I'll find out eventually. Nothing stays a secret for long in this house."
Her words sank in. She's right, nothing ever stays a secret for long. We're too close of a family.  This new thought scared me. What would happen when they found out? I felt my heart rate increase,  and the same queasy feeling in my stomach. I'm sure if my stomach had any contents left, I would've thrown up again.
Exhaustion hit me like a steel train. So much stressed caused so far. I decided to lay down, and wound up passing out, no dream at all to disturb my sleep.